Dear Dallas Mavericks fans,
So, your playoff series against the Blazers has started and right now you're up 1-0.
Sure, you had some help from the NBA and its whistled puppets in the fourth quarter of game one. Good for you, since they way you were playing, you honestly know you would not have won the game on your own. Regardless of how you did it, game one is in the books.
Your old man shot the ball very well. Our old man grabbed 18 rebounds. On Tuesday, yours will not repeat that shooting performance, but ours will, again, rebound strong. He has done it his entire career.
My friends, don't get too comfortable, for you didn't really accomplish anything.
This is a seven-game series and you've made us hungrier, more intent and even more feisty. We are not a team which wallows in adversity. Rather, we are a team who fights through adversity tooth and nail. We have proven this time and time again. We will continue to do so.
Over the past two seasons, we have had players go down to injury only to see other players rise up and keep us on track. We are resilient, reticent, and we don't give up.
Understandably, you're proud of your town and your team. Your Mavericks won 57 games this season. That's not bad; not bad at all. That will only make your first-round demise much more upsetting. Believe me, after having been knocked out of the first round the past two years, I understand.
When we win the upcoming games, you undoubtedly will be upset. Unfortunately, while we'll win one on your court, we will not allow you to get it back on ours. We have the loudest, most-enlightened and most knowledgeable fans in the NBA. We're often not given credit for much in this league, but no one at the national level underestimates the effect of those who fill our arenas, taverns and viewing parties when it comes to supporting out blazers.
By the way, thank you for raising the best power forward in the NBA. No, I'm not talking about Dirk. Truthfully speaking, isn't he really just a seven-foot small forward? I'm speaking of Dallas' own LaMarcus Aldridge who, while very underrated, seems to really enjoy playing against you. Certainly you've seen him have some of his best games against you this year. He is poised to take command in this series. My apologies for stating the truth. I know how that can be upsetting.
You have one of the most enigmatic owners in the league. He obviously loves his team to the same extent that he is embarrassingly annoying. On the other hand, our owner is greatly intelligent, and intent on building a true championship team. We're nearly there. Please feel free to consider yourselves as our first step toward that end. Hopefully that will make your loss of this series more bearable.
The real purpose of my letter is to apologize in advance to you for sending your beloved Mavericks to an early playoff exit. I have nothing against you personally, yet we all know my Blazers will capture this series.
I suppose there's no comfort in this, but I'll say it anyhow: There's always next year ... though, I doubt that would go any better for you if you happen to face us again.
Thank you for your attention.