Oct 10

top 10 reasons portland will win the west

By Kassandra
in the spirit of David Letterman, here's my top 10 list of why portland will win the west this year:

10. east coast teams with games against the blazers will forfiet after mistakenly traveling to portland, maine, not realizing the larger town of portland is actually in oregon;

9. the team is the trail blazers; not the portland timberwolves;

8. nba centers will become immediately intimidated when it is discovered that Joel Pryzbilla has more rhyming nicknames than anyone else in the league;

7. before phoenix plays portland, Steve Nash will be deported to canada (this will also happen with Dirk Nowitzki to germany and Yao Ming to china);

6. prior to playing portland, Lebron James will become depressed when he realizes that while his nickname is "King," he has no actual kingdom;

5. every time someone goes up against Nicolas, they will be violating french air space, and he will defend it;

4. upon getting a final ultimatum from Carmelo Anthony, the nuggets will mistakingly trade him to new zealand;

3. portland will dress for a game in "throwback" yellow jerseys resembling lakers' colors. for that game, the blazers will benefit from all the officials' calls;

2. LaMarcus Aldridge's indesribable knowledge of the rose garden's electrical system will be spontaneously beneficial;

and ...

1. no blazer player is married to a Kardashian.

there; hope you enjoyed that!

~ Kassandra


  1. Nice!

    by RedRudy5 on 10/11/2010 9:59 AM
  2. thats awesome whered you find it?

    by Brandonds7688 on 10/11/2010 4:09 PM
  3. numbers 5 ans 1 were the best... True to the humor style of Letterman very nice!

    by Fallen_Deity on 10/13/2010 8:52 AM
  4. thank you; my dormmate provided number one and i will give her all the credit in the world for that! @Brandonds7688: i created it; didn't find it.

    by Kassandra on 10/13/2010 12:36 PM
  5. haha! I love this! very funny!

    by Andre DeNegri on 10/17/2010 12:47 PM
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